Ever wondered what made 70s toys so bizarre? Parents bought children dolls with realistic organs and chemistry sets that released toxic fumes. Kids played with toys that simulated smoking and dolls that developed breasts with the twist of an arm. Many of these peculiar playthings would never pass today’s safety standards, but these forgotten relics tell us much about that era.
Prepare to discover these forgotten oddities that shaped a generation.
26. Hugo Man Of A Thousand Faces
Bland dolls bored creative kids, but Hugo Man Of A Thousand Faces solved this with its blank canvas design. Each set included stick-on mustaches, scars, and soft putty for reshaping his face—often into something ghoulish. Children crafted characters so disturbing they frightened unsuspecting adults. Households occasionally discovered these dolls hidden in unexpected places with faces twisted into nightmare fuel. His customizable features encouraged creativity with an unusual twist on traditional dolls. Despite parental unease about the disturbing portrayals, Hugo sparked imaginative play among kids. Trapped between educational toy and horror prop, these strange dolls transformed ordinary playtime into something both creative and unsettling.
25. Baby Laugh A Lot
Many parents reported being startled by this doll’s mechanical laughter that transformed from cheerful to demonic as batteries drained. The mechanical chuckle, designed to evoke happiness, instead created a truly unsettling experience. Draining batteries transformed her once-cheerful laugh into a deep, demonic sound that echoed eerily through quiet homes. Desperate parents often removed batteries entirely just to silence the disturbing noise. The doll quickly earned its status as an ‘uncanny valley’ pioneer, with numerous families reporting extreme discomfort. Her creepy reputation paradoxically drives collector interest today. If you’re seeking proof that good intentions can lead to terrifying outcomes, few toys demonstrate this principle more effectively than this nightmare-inducing laughing doll, one of the many 70s toys that vanished from store shelves.
24. Jolly Chimp
Jolly Chimp’s vacant stare and mechanical cymbal-clashing guaranteed you’d never feel truly alone—or comfortable. His stiff movements created an eerie vibe that contradicted his makers’ cheerful intentions. Horror movie comparisons followed this toy wherever it went. Urban legends spread about chimps mysteriously activating in the middle of the night without human intervention. The jarring cymbal performance often made children shiver rather than laugh. Popular culture embraced this unsettling toy in horror media, cementing its legacy. Night visibility just got worse whenever this cymbal-wielding nightmare appeared in darkened bedrooms, earning it permanent status in childhood trauma collections.
23. Ventriloquist Dolls
Children often reported feeling watched by their ventriloquist dolls, whose frozen grins and vacant eyes haunted playrooms nationwide. Despite marketing as playful friends, these wooden companions frequently induced fear rather than fun in their young owners. Lifelike qualities crossed an invisible boundary from engaging to disturbing. Abandoned dummies later surfaced in attics, mysteriously positioned facing walls as if in punishment. Their wooden expressions and hollow stares created an atmosphere of perpetual watchfulness. Parents often reported children’s growing unease with these silent observers. Got wet in the rain? These dolls survived water damage but somehow looked even more ominous with warped features and discolored wood—improvements to their horror aesthetic.
22. Skinny Bones Family
Haunted house aesthetics came home when the Skinny Bones Family introduced macabre play with their skeletal frames and vacant stares. Their emaciated appearance contrasted starkly with conventional dolls of the era. Clicking limbs created an eerie soundtrack during play while hollow eyes stared vacantly. Many children likened them to haunted house residents rather than friendly companions. These macabre figures deliberately challenged traditional doll aesthetics by embracing ghoulish design over cuteness. Their unconventional approach to children’s toys has made them cult collector items. This skeletal design folds into compact storage, making them space-efficient additions to any miniature haunted dollhouse collection.
21. Elastic Bubble Plastic
If you enjoyed toxic fumes with your playtime, Elastic Bubble Plastic delivered an unforgettable sensory experience that would horrify modern parents. Chemical hazards filled rooms as children squeezed viscous goo from tubes to create plastic spheres. Young users developed the strange belief that stronger smells produced better bubbles. The potent aroma signaled playtime had officially begun in countless 70s households. Safety concerns eventually emerged about the hazardous fumes and potential ingestion risks, making unsupervised use problematic. Despite—or perhaps because of—these risks, the product remained wildly popular throughout the decade. Caught in the crossfire between fun chemistry experiments and respiratory hazards, this beloved toxic toy eventually surrendered to safety regulations. The 70s were full of toys that pushed boundaries, often at the expense of safety. But some gadgets from the era were surprisingly advanced for their time, like these futuristic 70s inventions.
20. Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow
Farm experience without the barn mess—Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow promised agricultural education through plastic udder squeezing. Standing 10.5 inches tall with rubber udders meant to be filled with water, this plastic bovine came complete with pasture mat, cow bell, and non-toxic milk tablets. Children squeezed the udders to simulate farmyard milking in an educational yet eyebrow-raising activity. The stagnant water inevitably transformed into a murky, algae-filled biology lesson. Parental reactions ranged from educational appreciation to absolute bewilderment. Low long-term play value led to quick discontinuation after novelty faded. This standout feature of simulated milking educated suburban children about dairy farming without requiring actual livestock maintenance or morning chores.
19. Growing Up Skipper
With one twist of her arm, Growing Up Skipper transformed from child to teenager, breasts suddenly emerging with an audible click. Mattel’s puberty-simulating doll caused immediate controversy upon its 1975 release. Marketed as “2 dolls in 1 for twice the fun,” this anatomical experiment shocked parents nationwide. Women’s groups vocally condemned the toy for promoting harmful stereotypes about female development and media coverage amplified the debate around age-appropriate toys and childhood innocence. It was discontinued by 1977 after its short, contentious market life. For parents seeking awkward conversations about puberty, Skipper inadvertently created more discussions than any educational book could hope to achieve.
18. Shogun Warriors
When living room battles demanded heavy artillery, Shogun Warriors answered with projectiles that flew 20 feet across rooms from their spring-loaded arsenals. Towering at nearly 2 feet tall, these anime-inspired giants launched fists and missiles with surprising force. Instruction manuals casually suggested aiming at friends, causing parental anxiety as projectiles became household hazards. The toys represented early cultural crossover from Japanese media into Western playrooms. Children adored these enormous action figures despite—or perhaps because of—their potential for chaos. Safety concerns eventually emerged about the powerful launching mechanisms that could cause minor injuries. These massive figures fold down furniture-damaging potential into impressive display pieces that delighted children while terrorizing household breakables.
17. JJ Arms
Weaponized disabilities became playthings when this private detective action figure arrived with interchangeable prosthetic attachments including a controversial blade hand. Unusual even by 70s standards, this figure pushed boundaries of acceptable toy weaponry. Marketed during an era with different safety standards, the figure normalized adaptive tools while raising eyebrows. Some parents viewed the character as teaching resilience and adaptation to disability. Others questioned why children needed toys with built-in weapons. The figure never achieved mainstream popularity but developed a niche following. Stuck between progressive representation and concerning weaponry, JJ Arms reflected the era’s complicated relationship with both disability portrayal and toy violence.
16. Big Jim’s Wolf Pack
Ready for combat on the beach? Big Jim’s Wolf Pack bizarrely equipped action figures with realistic weapons alongside swimwear. Each figure featured built-in karate-chop action mechanics for combat scenarios. Marketing materials bizarrely positioned them as both elite commandos and casual vacationers simultaneously. The jarring contrast between deadly weaponry and leisurewear confused target demographics. Parents questioned the mixed messages about violence and relaxation. Figure prices now range from $15-75 on secondary markets, with complete accessory sets commanding premium values. For children struggling with vacation packing decisions, these versatile figures demonstrated you could indeed bring both assault rifles and beach towels to your next tropical getaway.
15. Pulsar, the Ultimate Man of Adventure
Science class meets playtime with Pulsar’s transparent chest cavity filled with removable glowing organs. Living room floors became operating tables as children performed pretend surgery on this educational oddity. The figure uniquely combined biological learning with adventure play at a time when science toys rarely featured action components. Internal mechanisms proved fragile, limiting effective play time before mechanical failure. Parents divided on whether the concept was brilliantly educational or disturbingly graphic for young children. This transparent torso design saved space in toy boxes by doubling as both action figure and biology teaching tool, eliminating the need for separate educational models.
14. Hypnos
Your mind is not your own when Hypnos activates his spinning hypnotic disk housed in a transparent torso. Standing 13.5 inches tall, this villain brought psychological warfare to toy boxes. A rotating wheel in his head changed facial expressions to simulate emotion shifts in an unsettlingly mechanical way. Limited articulation restricted posing options, while his lack of clothing struck some parents as odd. Critics dismissed him as an uninspired clone with less play value than competitors like Star Wars figures. For children fascinated by mind control concepts but not ready for psychology textbooks, Hypnos provided an accessible introduction to the concept of mental manipulation.
13. Jaws Board Game
Fingers disappeared into plastic teeth when players made wrong moves in this injury-inducing shark game. Released in 1975 following the blockbuster film, it combined Operation-style mechanics with genuine risk of pain. Players used gaff hooks to fish 13 junk items including tires and skulls from a spring-loaded shark mouth. One wrong move triggered the snap mechanism, potentially catching fingers in its plastic teeth. The suspenseful gameplay mirrored the film’s tension while introducing actual danger to family game night. Younger audiences found the morbid theme both frightening and thrilling. Modern safety standards would never permit games with physical hazards built into their design. This standout feature of potential injury transformed mundane board game sessions into genuinely suspenseful experiences worthy of the film that inspired it.
12. Lazy Daisy Doll
If you’ve ever wanted a doll that randomly passed out, Lazy Daisy delivered with her bizarre “narcolepsy” feature. Ideal’s strange contribution to doll innovation activated when positioned horizontally, causing immediate collapse. The sudden fainting mechanism startled many parents who found it oddly disturbing rather than amusing. Children typically experienced initial fascination with the surprise element before quickly exhausting the doll’s limited play potential. Her unusual functionality stood apart from traditional nurturing play patterns most dolls encouraged. The quirky charm divided consumer opinion, with some appreciating the novelty while others questioned the message. Lazy Daisy has since developed a cult collector following, with mint condition examples valued at $40-90 in specialty markets.
11. Star Team
Lawsuits killed this toy line faster than Darth Vader dispatched rebels, with “Night of Darkness” leading the shameless Star Wars ripoffs. Copyright infringement claims hit immediately after release, severely limiting distribution and market presence. The figures offered budget-conscious alternatives but suffered from inferior design and functionality compared to genuine Star Wars toys. Poor quality control and limited articulation disappointed even children who hadn’t experienced the originals. Production ceased quickly under legal pressure, creating accidental rarity. Despite their troubled history, these toys occasionally appear at auctions, fetching $15-60 from collectors of notorious toy failures.
10. Hasbro’s Great Moves Game
Struggling with artistic expression? Hasbro’s Great Moves strapped pens to your body parts so lack of talent became the least of your problems. Players attached writing utensils to various limbs then attempted to draw recognizable images on partner’s whiteboards. Limited motor control produced unpredictable, often hilarious results that ranged from abstract scribbles to surprisingly decent artwork. The physical awkwardness created natural comedy while fostering unique team-building experiences. Parents appreciated the game’s ability to get kids moving while still engaging creativity. Mixed reactions followed, as some found the mechanics frustrating rather than fun. The game maintains a cult following among vintage party game enthusiasts, with complete sets valued at $25-45.
9. Mattel’s Creepy Crawlers
Burns and toxic fumes were just part of the fun when kids created rubbery bugs with this hazardous craft set. Metal molds heated to 350-400°F transformed liquid Plasti-Goop into creatures in this dangerous toy. Introduced in 1964 as part of the Thingmaker line, the kit featured 30 different molds for creating various creepy crawlies. Sizzling sounds and strong chemical fumes filled rooms as children crafted their creatures. Burns from hot metal and toxic fume inhalation became significant concerns before discontinuation in 1978 when safety regulations tightened. Nostalgia later fueled a safer 1990s revival that sold over 5 million units. The original dangerous versions now attract collectors who pay $100-300 for complete functional sets.
8. The Sunshine Family Dolls
When consumerism overwhelmed toy shelves, The Sunshine Family arrived in 1974 offering a hippie alternative to Barbie’s materialism. The original collection featured 9-inch vinyl dolls: Dad (Steve), Mom (Stephie), and Baby (Sweets). These counterculture playthings promoted sustainability, craft-making, and modest living during the back-to-nature movement. Included craft supplies and homespun accessories encouraged creative play rather than fashion focus. Their folksy delivery van epitomized the earth-conscious aesthetic that defined the brand. Despite their cultural relevance, commercial appeal lagged behind flashier dolls, leading to discontinuation by 1978. Complete original sets now command $80-150 from collectors interested in this brief anti-consumer moment in toy history.
7. The Inchworm
Bored with stationary riding toys? The Inchworm’s 20-inch segmented body and winding mechanism created forward motion with each bounce. Made of durable plastic to ensure longevity, this bright green creation stimulated imaginative play while developing motor skills. Children created elaborate adventures while making it crawl across floors, turning simple rides into epic journeys. Though it had limited functionality compared to electronic toys, its simplicity meant fewer breakdowns and longer play life. Parents praised its durability and ability to keep children physically active. For families seeking uncomplicated outdoor fun without batteries or complicated assembly, the Inchworm delivered hours of repetitive yet somehow never boring bouncing.
6. Disturbing Homeless Doll
Social issues became controversial playthings when this doll arrived with tattered clothes and disheveled appearance. Various designs highlighted homelessness through deliberate aesthetic choices that sparked immediate debate. Supposedly intended to raise awareness among children, the doll instead provoked backlash for its insensitivity in childhood play contexts. Marketing confusion left parents uncertain about its purpose, while critics condemned it as exploitation of vulnerable populations. Generally rejected by mainstream retailers, the doll maintained minimal market presence. If you’re looking for evidence of how dramatically toy standards have evolved regarding social sensitivity, these rare dolls provide a stark reminder of changing cultural awareness.
56. Ronald McDonald Doll
Parents reported mixed feelings about this bright-haired mascot doll that elicited both delight and discomfort. The plush toy capitalized on fast food brand loyalty while featuring exaggerated clown aesthetics that divided opinions. Originally intended to create positive McDonald’s associations, the doll often triggered unexpected fear responses in children already developing coulrophobia (fear of clowns). Marketing efforts struggled against growing cultural ambivalence toward clown imagery. Changing perceptions of both fast food and clown characters eventually diminished the doll’s mainstream appeal. Caught between nostalgic collectible and unsettling childhood memory, these dolls now haunt garage sales like abandoned mascots.
4. Verte Bird
Air and ground transportation merged when Mattel released this hybrid helicopter-car in 1971 with actual spinning rotors. Operating on four D-batteries with a tethered control system, the toy introduced flight simulation through a unique two-lever mechanism. Cardboard buildings and plastic vehicles accompanied the set for elaborate flight scenarios. Unfortunately, spring mechanisms frequently failed after minimal use, rendering expensive toys inoperative. Safety concerns about spinning rotor blades eventually led to discontinuation despite initial popularity. Whether creating rescue missions or imaginary commutes, Verte Bird transformed ordinary play spaces into dynamic aerial adventures until inevitable mechanical failure grounded it permanently.
3. Suckerman
The weirder the toy, the better it stuck—literally true for Suckerman with his suction cup hands and feet. Launched by Mattel in the late 1970s, this 11-inch rubber figure adhered to various surfaces for unexpected placement around homes. The stretchable, flingable limbs offered tactile engagement unlike traditional action figures. Bizarre aesthetics and odd concept limited mainstream appeal while creating devoted fans who appreciated the unconventional design. Durability issues plagued the rubber body, which degraded over time. For children who preferred oddball novelties over realistic action heroes, Suckerman’s absurd functionality transformed walls, windows, and ceilings into unexpected play zones.
2. Pogo Sticks
Mastering gravity became childhood’s greatest challenge when metal springs and rubber tips transformed ordinary jumping into skillful bouncing. Various sizes accommodated different ages, with metal frames designed for durability during inevitable crashes. Physical coordination, balance, and persistence developed through repeated attempts to maintain consecutive jumps. Safety concerns about falls and injuries existed but rarely deterred enthusiastic young bouncers determined to master the skill. Successful jumpers experienced genuine feelings of achievement after conquering the learning curve. A pogo stick in the driveway meant hours of determined practice punctuated by triumphant moments and painful falls—the perfect metaphor for childhood resilience.
1. Toy Cigarettes and Pipes
Children mimicked adult smoking rituals with candy sticks and bubble-producing pipes that simulated tobacco products. Candy cigarettes, designed to resemble actual cigarettes, provided sugary treats while encouraging smoking pantomime. Bubble pipes created soap-based vapor clouds resembling smoke without harmful chemicals. These toys allowed imaginative role-play of adult behaviors at a time when smoking remained commonplace in households. As public health awareness increased in later decades, regulatory scrutiny led to manufacturing changes and eventual market decline. Flat tires might temporarily halt a bicycle ride, but these controversial toys ultimately crashed against the barrier of changing social attitudes toward tobacco products.
